Cooked by TFW: Bacon Fat Waffles
HAPPY JULY, EVERYONE!!!!
I’m out of fight camp; I’m in my birth month; I’m eating carbs and greasy foods again; and I’ve had so much Nutella in the last two weeks, it can be measured in POUNDS… Yes, I’ve grown a small potbelly since my June 17 fight, but I earned it, dammit! Conversely, I’m also paying for it at the gym right now… But such is the life of a guy like me. Work hard. Eat hard.
I thought we should celebrate the start of the best month on the calendar with something a little risqué. I said two months ago in the grocery guide (available here: https://www.tfwmma.com/news/2017/5/10/cooked-by-tfw-grocery-guide) that I’d ask Coach LA about sharing my top-secret bacon fat waffle recipe. Well, I’m here to say…
I totally “forgot” to ask and just submitted this recipe way too close to the posting deadline for Coach LA to say no… MWAHAHAHA!
I think we can all agree… bacon is delicious. Even my former meat-eating vegan friends say they sometimes crave the wonderful, distinct taste of bacon. In my fridge right now is a container of clarified bacon fat. Back in the day, I ate enough bacon that the container always stayed pretty filled up; it was to the point that all my baking included bacon fat substituted in to the recipe. Nowadays, I’ve toned down my bacon consumption considerably. If I make this waffle recipe more than once a month, I run the risk of running out of that sweet, sweet nectar from the food gods.
Since this cooking series is designed to help folks eat healthier, I’ve made today’s recipe versatile enough that you can substitute just regular oil in for the bacon fat. We’ve been on such a healthy kick while I’ve spent 8 long weeks in Fight Camp (RIP “Did you know I was in Fight Camp?” jokes), so I thought it would be fun to share one of my most guarded recipes that shouldn’t be a daily meal like previous recipes. Since this is one of my recipes from my super secret vault, the directions are going to be a little more particular than usual. Follow them to the T if you want to be like me. Rhyme.
- 1 egg
- 4 Tablespoons bacon fat (ORRRRRRR your cooking oil of choice… I suppose.)
- 1.5 Tablespoons brown sugar
- 3/4 Cups milk (Am I the only one annoyed that I’m switching back and forth between decimals and fractions? Did anyone even notice?)
- 1/8 Teaspoon salt
- 1/4 Teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/4 Teaspoon vanilla extract (SO MANY FRACTIONS!)
- 2 Teaspoons baking powder
- (Optional: half a tablespoon [Oh, now we’re just spelling out measurements?] cocoa powder)
I almost said “salt and pepper to taste,” out of habit. Please, somebody try this with a pinch of pepper in it and let me know how it goes.
1. Preheat your waffle iron. Lets assume you’re me and you have solidified bacon fat in your fridge. Scoop out 4 tablespoons into a microwave-safe container and liquefy it in the microwave. If you’re using cooking oil, skip this step, but just know that I’m judging you ever so slightly.
2. Whisk an egg in a medium bowl until its nice and fluffy. Add the brown sugar, vanilla, and bacon fat (ugh… or oil…) and continue to whisk until it’s beautifully blended and frothy. Add the milk next, whisk some more.
3. Whisk in your dry ingredients one at a time, flour last… Let’s talk about that, quickly.
Do you own a sifter? If yes, great! You’re somebody I want to know. If no, you’re a monster and I have no idea how you sleep at night… I bet you also park diagonally in two spaces in crowded parking lots and listen to death metal covers of Taylor Swift songs.
Sifters are, like, $6 and any recipe that requires flour also requires a sifter. People who just dump unsifted flour into a bowl don’t deserve nice things… I said it! (Remember, I submitted this recipe super late in hopes of avoiding Coach LA’s editorial powers. #ProcrastinateTheRevolution)
Anyway, sift your flour; it saves you from having weird clumps of flour in your mixture. That’s this week’s pro tip, free of charge.
4. Spray your preheated waffle iron (oh man… I wonder if the oil users took me literally and skipped all of step 1, including preheating their waffle irons… This is why you can’t trust oil users) with non-stick spray. Pour in enough of your mixture to fill the iron and cook until it’s golden brown.
This recipe should yield 2-3 waffles, depending on your waffle iron. You now have the power to make one of my signature dishes. Wow your significant other, your secret lover, your mother, your brother, or somebody else in your life whose name or relationship to you rhymes with “-other” with it and – as always – thank me later.