Cooked by TFW: Turkey Soup for the Eater of Souls

Hey y’all! It’s your neighborhood tantrum-throwing fighting chef, and I’m back to…

Continue complaining about last week’s Turkey! The thing is haunting me! In last week’s epic post  – where I whined my way through making what many people are calling “the best Turkey they’ve ever tasted in their entire lives” – I foolishly said, “You can boil [the bones] and make a turkey stock for soup. Maybe that’s what I’ll do next…” Foolish, because we all knew that’s exactly what I was going to do. Despite telling myself after last week’s nightmare (even my own mother – shout out to The Notorious C-Role-G – has made fun of me for how much I complained last week) that I would take this week easy, here we are… giving you people 1.5 recipes this week!

Here’s where you ask, “What do you mean 1.5, Tym? You gorgeous mountain of pure genius, trapezius muscles, and sheer charm, you!”

Well, my adoring audience. Let me take you to a magical time known as… Last Saturday Night:

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After last week’s turkey adventure was published, my Food Bae, one of the founding Gym Wives of The Throuple™, fellow fight team member Breigh Wareiczuk and I made plans to hang out this past weekend and make a healthy broth out of the turkey carcass (still a gross word). Y’all, it was a wonderful night! Our dogs became best frien… Our dogs became adequate acquaintances on the way to friendship… I made dinner. We watched the 1995 hit movie Casper (that thing did NOT age well… and is riddled with plot holes). And we also attempted to make some turkey broth.  About half way through the broth-making process, the two of us realized we took zero pictures of the whole ordeal, mainly because I STILL was complaining about cooking the dang thing. On top of that, the recipes I found for making the broth LIED TO ME about how long it would take: I was told by AppleCare* that it would take 2-4 hours… Bruh, it had to cook overnight. Props to Breigh for straining and jarring the finished product; you the real MVP*.

With that said, I’m too grouchy to give a proper recipe for the broth with directions and all that jazz. Between the two of us… It’s really the ultimate choose your own destiny. What I AM gonna give y’all is a – say it with me, kids – VERSATILE and delicious soup recipe made from our weekend broth. I would call it “the broth of love” but 1) gross, too sappy; and 2) I still hate that turkey… that bliss-inducing, delectable monster.

Now, here’s where you ask, “What exactly makes this meal so versatile? I mean, you have been doing this blog for over half a year now and have yet to disappoint in the versatility department, so I trust you! Also, I’m getting a life-size cardboard cutout of you for [Secular Winter Gift Exchange Holiday]!”

Yo, that’s dope! Let me know when it gets here and I will sign it for you; that’ll raise its value like a bitcoin! As for your question, I’m using leftover turkey meat and the broth made from the turkey… ugh… carcass. You can switch the broth out for store-bought chicken/veggie broth and the meat for shredded chicken or even shredded jackfruit? Or remove the meat all together! There’s a lot of destiny-choosing going on this week, y’all… Maybe Tym “takes it easy” after all! Full disclosure: my original idea for this week’s post was a “Kitchen Essentials” review of this new electric hand mixer I recently bought myself – #BeYoOwnGift – because it has revolutionized my baking game. Monday, I made EASILY the best batch of Victory Cookies in my entire life. Maybe next week! (Assuming this dang turkey doesn’t come back from the ultra dead to continue haunting me. I got Tell-Tale Heart Syndrome**, y’all.)

Enough dilly (dilly!) dallying… Let’s get to a-cooking! Starting first with the broth… Like I said, this is going to be half a recipe. Or a half-assed… It’s the most “choose your own destiny” recipe I’ll ever give you on this blog*** Here’s the skinny:

Hopefully you’ve picked off as much meat off the bones. Ugh… Bird Bones… Break down the carc… the skeleton… into a few manageable pieces. Toss it into a stockpot with some carrots, celery, cut up white onion, and an unpeeled bulb of garlic with it’s top cut off. Fill with water, season with… honestly, whatever the hell you want. I used thyme, oregano, and… I think cumin? Half-assed, indeed. Use a bay leaf or two, too. And parsley if you want. Breigh made a baller discovery that if you add a few tablespoons of apple cider vinegar and let it sit for about 30-45 minutes, it helps pull nutrients out of the bones and balance the acidity in the broth. Breigh’s a baller, y’all! So we did all that, then brought the pot to a boil (which took FOREVER) and then let it simmer for… ever… overnight. There are recipes to cook it in a crockpot, but I DIDN’T FIND ANY OF THOSE UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE TO CHANGE COURSE! Plus, I got to hang out with one of my favorite people and play with Dewey the most adorable dog not named Rosco. Anyway… Let it simmer for hours upon hours, occasionally skimming fat from the surface. Once it’s done, removed the large solid pieces and pour the broth through a mesh strainer. Boom… we made broth! Now to the actual recipe!

Ingredients

  • 4 Cups Broth
  • 4-6 (follow your heart) Garlic Cloves
  • 2 Celery Stalks
  • 4 Green Onions
  • 2 Cups Shredded Meat (I used turkey, but you can… scroll back up and read that whole paragraph about versatility)
  • 1 Large Carrot
  • 1 Large Zucchini
  • Either Some Thyme Sprigs or just use 1/2 Teaspoon Ground Thyme
  • 1/4 Teaspoon Ground Ginger
  • 1/2  Teaspoon Oregano
  • Salt and Pepper to taste

Directions

1. Prep your ingredients. DUST OFF YOUR VEGGIE NOODLEFICATION DEVICE, KIDS!!!! Noodlelate the zucchini and carrot into two separate bowls. Quick side note: When you use the noodler, the “core” of the vegetable falls out. Rosco loved this recipe because he LOVES carrots… LOOK AT HOW MUCH HE LOVES IT!

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Anyway… Noodle up the zucchini and carrot, chop the onion and celery, and dice the garlic. If you haven’t shredded the meat your using… do it now. Cool, we’re ready for cooking!

2. Cook the veggies… Well, not all the veggies, but some of them. When did I start making headlines for each step of a recipe?! Why am I constantly inflating the word count?! Anyway… Coat the bottom of a large pot with some cooking spray and heat it over medium heat. Add the garlic, celery, and onion and let that sauté for a bit.

3. Now the other stuff. Add your broth and seasonings then bring it all to a boil. Drop the heat to low and let it all simmer for about 5 minutes. Then add the shredded meat and carrot noodles only… because carrots are a pain to cook, while zucchini is a quickly. Let that cook for another 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. THEN add your zucchini noodles and let it cook for another minute or two. The soup is ready when the noodles are soft.

And there you have it! Winter is coming, which means it’s soup season, I think? I honestly don’t know… this is the first soup I’ve ever made in my life. Anyway, veggie noodles add a healthy twist to some hearty, cold-curing chicken noodle soup. PLUS, it gets all this dang turkey out of my fridge! Give this 1.5 recipes a try, especially if you’re a broth maker, and share your results on all the social medias using the hashtag #CookedByTFW. And – as always – thank me (AND BREIGH!) in the morning!

*Props to you for catching those two dope references. I will always love AppleCare lady and Kevin Durant loves his mamma so much!

**So, did you know Tell-Tale Heart was first published in 1843? And that thing is still being taught in schools right now? Quote the Tym “Nevermore!”

***I can’t promise this… I’m lazy, y’all. 

LA Jennings