Cooked by TFW: Chicken Cauliflower Alfredo

Hey, Kids! It’s-a me, Tym, your favorite, once-again-most-eligible-bachelor, fight team chef! Last week, I hinted (like a sledgehammer to your skull) that I am not a fan of the capitalistic “Holiday Season.” I won’t get too deep in the weeds with it this week, but again… please talk to your problematic family members about what makes them problematic and why our current president is a troll who shouldn’t’ve been elected, but since he did, should’ve been impeached months ago…

Instead of harping on that… let me instead say…

HAPPY USF HATE WEEK!!!!!!! That’s right, college football fans, this week is Rivalry Week and my beloved alma matter is facing off against our blood rivals… The West Florida Community College, more famously known as “The University of South Florida.” Such a weird name for a school located 285 miles north of Miami, Florida…  Clearly, WFCC isn’t known for its geography program.

Anyway, Friday afternoon we face off in football, and to say I’m lit, hyped, and pumped for this matchup would be an understatement. We had over 20 people complete in 2017; I was 3 of them… I would trade every single W our gym collected this year, and retire from fighting, AND never help another one of our fighters in fight camp, AND wear [redacted gym’s name] shirt every day for a full year, AND never cook with bacon fat again if it meant we beat the bulls every year in every sport. Y’all… I’m hyper competitive. We know this… When I’m warming up for a fight, I’m envisioning my unborn children telling me they want to go to USF instead of any other school on the planet… I hate the bulls… Come find me Friday and watch me literally cry during a football game.

Gaaaaahhhhh, I’m so excited about this game… I wish I was in Florida… Seriously, come find me Friday at the official UCF bar in Denver (Blake Street Tavern) at 1:30PM MST. Buy me a drink… I’m not in fight camp. I HATE THE BULLS!!!!!

ANYWAY!!!! This week’s meal is delicious. They’re always delicious… duh. However, I’m not happy with this week’s final pics, so I can’t say it’s pretty. But it’s DELICIOUS! We know I obsess about pics for this blog. We also know I usually make these meals Tuesday night. Usually I’ve made a recipe before and know what to expect; this one… welp… it’s delicious.

I’ve been excited to make this for y’all. I found this recipe about a month ago, but… again… I’ve consumed close to 20 lbs of Nutella since my fight. This week’s recipe isssssssss… Chicken Alfredo!

With a healthy twist!

Alfredo sauce is one of those basic cooking staples that I always say I want to learn how to make but never actually make it. I did make some bomb Alfredo a few years ago, but it’s not a regular thing I make and I wish it were. Well, now… I think it will.

“But Tym, you gorgeous, amazing, bring-you-home-to-meet-the-family stunning man, you… how did you make Alfredo sauce healthy?!” Welp… It’s barely any cheese and mostly Cauliflower! Yo, how dope is Cauliflower? Props to it! You know what? This week, I’m thankful for Cauliflower! I should write a love letter to… OH WAIT! I did! (available hurrrr: https://www.tfwmma.com/news/2017/5/18/cooked-by-tfw-an-ode-to-cauliflower

So, as I said before, I’m not thrilled with the final picture… I underestimated how much Cauliflower Alfredo sauce this recipe would make, so I have a ton left… NO WORRIES… Looks like I’ll just have to come up with some more Alfredo recipes! Perfect! With that said, I’m going to adjust the ingredients here to yield better results than what the pictures show (and of course, expect me to make parenthetical asides about my meal vs the recipe). I feel like the sauce is good for a large group of people, and I made enough “Pasta” (I made Zucchini Noodles… WE ARE STILL NOT CALLING THEM ZOODLES) and chicken for just myself… Hashtag: Forever Alone. I wonder if I had used regular flour-based pasta, if it would’ve soaked up some of the sauce… hmmmmm… Make this for a big group of people, or for yourself and just refrigerate the leftovers.

Anyway, with all that said… TO THE RECIPE!

Ingredients

  • 4 Cups Vegetable Broth
  • 2 Cups Water
  • 1 Head of Cauliflower, cut up into florets
  • 8-10 Cloves of Garlic, minced (I mean… we know where I stand on Garlic… I used a whole bulb, but follow your heart)
  • 1/2 Cup Heavy Cream
  • 1/2 Cup Grated Parmesan Cheese
  • 2 Chicken Breasts
  • 1 Teaspoon Italian Seasoning (maybe a little more for the chicken…)
  • 1 Teaspoon Salt
  • 1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
  • Pick your Pasta: 4-5 Zucchinis (I used 3 kinda small ones and it wasn’t enough… I dunno, gang. The star of this recipe is the sauce… follow your heart on the rest of the stuff) ORRRRR about 2.5 Cups of cooked pasta

 

Directions

1. Cook Yo Cauliflower. Add the broth and water to a medium pot and bring to a boil Add the cauliflower and reduce the heat to a simmer. Pop the lid on and let it cook for about 7-10 minutes, until the florets are soft enough to break with a fork. While that’s going, add your minced garlic to a medium skillet coated with cooking spray over medium heat. We’re just gonna lightly sauté the garlic; don’t let them burn.

2.Make Yo Sauce. Save about a cup of the broth-water mix you’ve been cooking the cauliflower in. Drain the rest and transfer the cauliflower to your trusty food processor. Transfer the garlic as well. Add your cheese and seasonings (dare I say… your cheesonings…). Let’s learn from my mistakes: I added all the liquids at once. Try adding your cream and cup of broth-water gradually until you get your desired thickness. I like how mine came out, but wish I would have taken my time (sounds like prom night all over again…) Process until you have a nice smooth Alfredo cream and set aside.

3. Who You Calling Chicken? (Shout out Marty McFly) Place your chicken breast under plastic wrap and use a mallet to beat it to about 1/4 inch thick.

Side note: have we ever discussed the benefit of pounding your chicken? Let’s do this quick: Chicken breast isn’t uniformly thick. Pounding it to an even thickness helps it cook evenly. Boom. There you go.

Anyway, here’s another “choose your own destiny” moment. I like to cut my chicken while raw. I know some folks will cook it whole and then cut it up once cooked. As always, follow your heart. (I feel like I’ve dropped that phrase a lot this week… is that our drinking game?) Whether you cut it or not, season it with salt, pepper, maybe the Italian seasoning, and toss it in that skillet you used for the garlic (hopefully you don’t need me to tell you to re-spray it first) over medium high heat until the chicken cooks through.

4. Build Yo Alfredo. I’m going to assume you kids are smart… Plus, we’re already at 1170 words. I don’t think I have to re-teach you how to make Zucchini Noodles. Nor do I think I have to teach you how to cook traditional pasta. Once you’ve made your noodles, add them to the chicken skillet and reduce the heat to low. Then… SLOWLY… add your Alfredo sauce. Depending how much pasta/chicken you made, you may or may not use all your sauce. Again, the pic of the final product for me isn’t pretty… BUT IT WAS SO DELICIOUS!

And. There. You. Have. It. I don’t know why I needed so much punctuation… Anyway, if you used Zucchini Noodles, you’ve got yet another low carb meal perfect for multiple people. Substitute the chicken for tofu (or maybe even jackfruit? Hmmmm) and you’ve got a vegetarian meal. Substitute the heavy cream with yogurt and… YOU GET THE POINT: This meal is – say it with me, kids – VERSATILE! (I haven’t said that in forever… We’ve been to rigid in Cooked By TFW Headquarters.) Be sure to share pics of your attempts at this delicious and healthy Alfredo dish on all the social medias using the hashtag #CookedByTFW. And – as always – thank me in the morning!

LA Jennings